Half Asleep
By Seniya
The skies were
lonely tonight. The moon herself seemed intimidated by some greater company; it
cowered behind an everlasting carpet of darkness, refusing to even let her
presence become unrestricted knowledge.
The nightmares
of the night took this as an opportunity to strike; they moved, silently,
precariously, making their way through the cracks beneath windows and doors.
And then, once inside, they raised their spindly hands in unison and caressed
the young faces of their newest victims.
A particularly
dastardly dream made its way into Will Vandoms
chamber, taking great care not to be discovered. Its footsteps danced over the
carpet, becoming mere whispers in the night.
It paused by
her bedside, and then vanished, moving instead to a different house, to find a
more suitable host; repulsed, of course by the
fact that this girl was still awake.
Will; for her
part in this tale, was completely unaware of the intruder, or of its hasty
departure. She noticed only the slight rustle of the drapes in the night wind.
And even those sounds werent enough to rouse her from her brooding.
She couldnt
tell you, if by chance you ever wanted to ask her, exactly how long shed been
lying there; staring blankly at the whitewashed ceiling; searching, to no avail
for the answer to her burning question.
Why?
Its simple
enough, isnt it? And its a query weve all asked ourselves at least once in
our lives.
And here it is
again: why isnt the answer ever as simple as the question?
Why cant we, the meager
mortals, ever seem to discover the truth even after hours and contemplating it?
Why?
Hed kissed
her.
Even after
repeating it for what had to have the thousandth time. It still was met with
only despair.
The thought of
him, nearing her, his green eyes layered with desire; even now, caused a wave
of pain to ripple through her frame.
She had stood
there motionless, and let him do it. And when hed tasted her, she didnt
resist his advances, shed played along, allowing him to explore her soul, to
plunder her mouth of all its secrets.
If she had
wanted him before, she had needed him then.
She had melted
in his arms. The dizzying sensations that swept through her body had driven her
to the height of ecstasy rejecting to set her soul free of this pleasurable
torture.
Then, it had
gotten worse. The longing between them intensified, the kisses were no longer
gentle, sweet. They were rough, painfully so; now he harassed her lips with an
eternal passion.
And then, too
soon perhaps, they had stood once more, breathless, and gazing at each other,
still unseeing. Words did not come. Words could not explain, surely, all that
had just ensued.
Even more
horrible had been the aftermath of the embrace---when hed told her in a
confined sort of voice that it had been a mistake; that he was sorry, and that
it wouldnt, nor should it ever happen again.
It was
sickening to her how she could be feeling this way.
It was dense
for more than a thousand reasons. For one, he was him, Caleb. End of
story, he belonged with Cornelia. God, she didnt even want to entertain the
thought of what Cornelia would say if she ever heard of this. It would be her
fault of course
it was always her fault.
Will still
wasnt sure of the exact state of the relationship between Cornelia and Caleb;
they had been together once
were they together now?
The infinite
cavern that had eaten away room in her chest seemed to widen. The picture of
him, with her
She groaned; it
was an empty sound, despite all the emotion behind it. The rage within her
seemed to rekindle at the thought; she wanted to scream, to do something, more
than just lie here
And yet she
didnt move.
Running now to
go declare her feelings to him was too; idiotic. He could never be with her.
She knew that.
Regardless of
Cornelia, he belonged in
And what could
ever make her think that he would change his mind for her.
For his mistake.
She was being
silly. Childish, really, for letting a kiss disrupt her entire life. She
needed to get over it, to pretend it never happened; he was certainly
not sparing a thought to these events.
Why should she?
She hated him
now; for his reckless behaviorfor ever believing that she wanted him to touch
herfor forcing her to lie here at night with only the thoughts of his face to
soothe her.
This wasnt
supposed to be this way.
Why did it have to be this
way?
Her heart broke
before her mind did, its defenses gone, melted in fact, they flowed from her in
the form of perfect tears, disappearing before they could tell their stories to
this earth.
She didnt try
to stem the flow, there was no need. No one could see her now in this pathetic
state; there was no need to hide.
Yes, she could
take some comfort in knowing that, at least, the moon was absent, and not
staring in the heavens down at her overexposed soul.